Bitter Taste of Fear
by Ana
Summary: Dying on a hostile planet, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are rescued by Mace and Yoda and returned to the healers on Coruscant.


Title: Bitter Taste of Fear Author: Anastasia  Categories: angst, h/c, romance Series: This is the second piece in the 'Coming to Their Senses' series. The first piece is 'Not On Deaf Ears'. Rating: G Pairing: Q/O Status: Complete Archive: M_A 

Spoilers: Not that I'm aware of…except for the story I wrote before this one, if you haven't read it… : ) ::points reader to the M_A site to find "Not On Deaf Ears":: 

Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are rescued from a hostile planet by Mace and Yoda. A guilt-ridden Mace faces his feelings with some insight from Yoda. The four of them return to Coruscant with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan in critical condition. 

Series Summary: In "Not On Deaf Ears", Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were stranded on a hostile planet. Qui-Gon was injured and Obi-Wan all but destroyed his health attempting to keep Qui-Gon alive. Obi-Wan collapsed just as Mace and Yoda arrived to rescue them. 

Feedback: Please… When I don't hear from anyone, I get a complex... : ) Flames, should you feel the need to send them, will be cheerfully forwarded to the ferret, who will hunt down all flamers and bite their ankles. Thank you! 

Disclaimers: We all know who these characters belong to (Thank you, Mr. Lucas!), so there's no question as to who's getting all the credit, money, attention, etc. for these wonderful Jedi. (Hint: It's not me...) Disappointing as that is, I'd just like to borrow them to tell this story... 

Inspiration: I am constantly inspired and motivated by my story editor, Caly Rose. Thank you, Caly, for making me want to write and for keeping me at it even when I sometimes seem to write only a sentence an hour. : ) 

Thank yous: This story, I'm very happy to say, was followed and edited step-by-step by Calysta Rose. We generally used irc to hold our brainstorming/editing sessions, but email was in there, too. Caly did a wonderful job commenting, suggesting word changes and ideas, and helping me to make this the best story it could be. I've never written a story before using a 'live beta/editor' and it's been a *wonderful* experience! Look for Caly and I to be teaming up as writer/editor again in the future. : ) Thank you for *all* your support, Caly! You are just the best! 

Thanks also: To everyone who wrote to say they enjoyed 'Not on Deaf Ears'. The responses to that story were phenomenal and there were so many detailed comments that really helped to shape and mold this story—both into what it is and what it will become. To Regs and kaly for agreeing to look this over before its posting. I really appreciate your help, you guys! 

Note: This story is a companion story to 'Not on Deaf Ears' and will make little sense if you haven't read that first. There are at least two more stories planned for this series. 

Another note: * * or italics represent thoughts. 

Bitter Taste of Fear 

by Anastasia (padawan_ana@yahoo.com) 

"Pilot Nagursu!" Mace Windu shouted as he stormed to the front of the small ship once again. "ETA!" 

The pilot didn't turn around to meet the master's gaze as he had the first ten times he'd answered the request. Instead, he kept his eyes on the planet coming into view on the ship's front screen. 

"One hour, ten minutes, Sir," he answered, muttering, *'Only five minutes later than the last time you asked,'* under his breath. 

"Please keep me informed of our travel time," Mace growled as he turned on his heel. "I will be…meditating." 

As he listened to the footfalls echoing down the corridor, the pilot seriously doubted the Jedi master's ability to meditate in his current state. 

* * * Calm refused to settle over Mace; centering and meditation were impossible. 

"Help Qui-Gon, this behavior will not," Yoda said, not unkindly, from his kneeling posture across the cabin. "Help, you should, by focussing healing energies in the direction of the planet. Know, you do, that thought energy can be very powerful, even from a distance." 

Properly put in his place, Mace stood, straightening his robes. Although he couldn't see the planet from this angle, he sat by the small oval portal anyway, staring out at the darkness and stars. 

*Qui-Gon, my friend, I'm so very sorry,* he thought, closing his eyes. *I know you disagree with many of the things the Council stands for and supports—and now your life may be in jeopardy due to those very structures. But I also know that weighing the safety of thousands of lives against the lives of just two people, you would have chosen the thousands as well.* 

Mace sighed. Knowing something did not necessarily make it easier to accept. 

"Accept it, you must," Yoda murmured, easily reading Mace's thoughts. "Accept and move on. The lives of the many we have tended to. Now, the lives of two more have been placed in our hands. Concentrate on that, you must." 

"Yes, Master," Mace said with as much grace as he could muster. Closing his eyes, he drew the Force around him and settled in to reflect on Yoda's words. 

* * * 

Mace surfaced from his thoughts with a clearer mind, if not a calmer spirit. He knew he would not be truly at ease until the missing Jedi were on board and the ship was headed back to Coruscant. There had already been too much time lost returning Qui-Gon and his padawan to the Temple. They needed to be where they could heal and become whole again, both mentally and physically. 

"Feel for him, you do," Yoda said, slowly covering the space between them and approaching the portal. "A better friend than Qui-Gon you have not had since you began training at the Temple. Like a brother he has always been to you, hmmm?" Yoda's eyes followed the stars as if he could read something written in them. And perhaps he could. 

A brother, indeed, Mace thought. Qui-Gon was closer to him than his birth family, as was often the case with those who gave up their families to train and become Jedi. And now his brother was out in the desert somewhere, dying… 

"Can you feel anything from them, Yoda? From Qui-Gon?" Mace asked, staring at the bright streaks of light until he was dizzy. He was concerned for both the Jedi, but could not help the overpowering concern he felt for the man he had grown up with. 

Yoda's ears tipped downward. "Sense him, I can," he replied sadly. "Great is his suffering." Yoda caught and held Mace's haunted gaze. "Hurt, it does, to be here, with Qui-Gon there, hmmm?" 

Mace felt a shudder go through him as he nodded slowly in agreement. "Yes. It does." 

* * * 

Mace was aware of the ship's descent even before the pilot contacted him to announce their imminent arrival in orbit around the planet. 

"Touchdown estimated in sixteen minutes," Nagursu told them. 

"Get as close to them as you can," Mace said. "I want to be able to go down, get them out of there, bring them back to the ship, and take off in a matter of minutes. Can you do that?" 

"Yes, Sir," Nagursu answered, suddenly all business. "I'm a career pilot, Sir. Flying into situations like this and flying back out quickly and in one piece is my job. You can count on me, Sir. Nagursu out." 

* * * 

"Three minutes to touchdown," Nagursu's voice broke through the silence. "I should be able to set you down about two hundred meters from their position. The terrain is dusty. Don't want to risk landing too close and kicking up the loose sand." 

"Understood," Mace said. "Master Yoda and I will join you momentarily." 

"Steady, their Force presence is," Yoda told Mace as they hurried to the front of the ship. 

"Steady? But I thought you said…" 

"Steady it is," Yoda said, forehead furrowing. "But not strong. No, not strong at all. Not…" Yoda stopped in mid-sentence—in mid-stride—dropping the supply kit he held. It hit the deck with a clang. 

"Yoda? Yoda, what is it?" Mace was torn between rushing onward and remaining with the elder master. 

"Hurry, you must," Yoda muttered. "Hurry. They are suffering. Suffering…" He paused, focussed inward. "He is dying," he said as he came back to himself. The green face crumpled in pain. 

Mace had heard enough. Stooping down, he retrieved the fallen medical supply kit and took off for the pilot's station at a full run. 

"You're with me!" he barked, as he reached the front of the ship. 

The startled pilot turned, a look of surprise clouding his olive features. "Sir?" 

"Put this ship down anywhere you can," Mace ordered him. "And then you're with me. One of the Jedi is in trouble and you and I will be the fastest on foot. Time is of the essence. Master Yoda can monitor ship's systems until we return." 

Nagursu threw the ship into landing mode, set it down as gently as he could, and was out of his seat and on Mace's heels in record time. 

* * * 

The bright sunlight was excruciating after the relative darkness of the ship and the dry air made Mace's lungs burn. How had Qui-Gon and his apprentice made it almost twenty-five rotations here? Obi-Wan was used to such conditions, in moderation, but Qui-Gon had never borne the heat well. 

Stumbling on the uneven ground in his haste, Mace regained his balance quickly and rushed in the direction of the two men. He could hear Nagursu behind him, but his long legs and Jedi reflexes made him faster and better-suited to running. 

Scrambling to the top of a dune, Mace looked out over the endless sand. In the distance, he could see the outline of those he sought. Doubling his pace, he forged ahead. Their rushed landing had put them almost twice as far away as the original estimate, but it was worth it to be on solid ground and making the retrieval at last. 

Cloak swirling behind him in the sand, Mace closed the gap between himself and the Jedi. *I'm almost there,* he thought to Yoda. *I can see them from here. Obi-Wan is sitting up. That's a good sign.* 

Almost as soon as Mace had completed his thought, Obi-Wan was down, taking Qui-Gon with him as he slumped to the ground. 

*They're both down!* Mace thought desperately to Yoda. He was at Obi-Wan's side now, pulling Qui-Gon from his arms. Nagursu caught up, drenched with sweat and breathing heavily in the oppressive heat. 

"If you can manage that one," he gestured to Mace's grip on Qui-Gon. "I can carry the other one." 

Hurriedly, Mace nodded, grabbing Obi-Wan's cloak from the sand and draping it over him as Nagursu lifted him off the ground. Mace followed suit, hefting Qui-Gon over his shoulder, taking off for the ship. 

* * * 

As the two men rushed in and the ship's hatch slid closed, Yoda maneuvered the ship up off the desert floor. Contacting Coruscant regarding their estimated time of arrival, he set the ship to autopilot and made his way aft. 

Mace and Nagursu had the Jedi laid out side by side on the bed in the largest cabin on the ship. When he saw Yoda, the pilot surrendered his job assisting Mace and eagerly returned to work he was more suited for at navigation. 

Silently, Mace handed Yoda a basin of warm water and a cloth. Both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had been stripped down to their underclothes, torsos and legs a ghostly white in comparison to sun-punished hands and faces. Intravenous tubing supplied both men with the nutrients and liquids their systems craved; oxygen-assist masks had been gently pulled over both sets of noses and mouths. 

"I've taken care of their most immediate needs," Mace told Yoda, busying his hands by wringing out the sponge he was using to wipe down Obi-Wan. "I will finish cleansing Padawan Kenobi," he said. "I thought you might want to tend Qui-Gon yourself." 

The masters worked in silence, each lost in his own thoughts. 

"Obi-Wan is going have need of the bacta tank," Mace said quietly. "With damage this extensive, I'm not sure how he managed to last as long as he did. Qui-Gon is as fit as a marathon runner compared to him." 

"Need rest, they both do," Yoda said, dipping his cloth into the water. "Treatment, Qui-Gon will need, to repair his lungs. Damaged, they are, from the Trellisian weapons. Feel it, I can. Affecting his whole system, it is." 

"Obi-Wan is suffering from extreme exhaustion and heat stroke," Mace told him. "He has severe skin and tissue damage from the burning and blistering caused by over-exposure to the sun. And those are just the things I can detect without having sophisticated medical equipment. I suspect his lungs were affected, too, if not from the weapons discharge then from the prolonged time spent out in the swirling dust of the planet." 

"Sleep, they will , until we reach Coruscant. Stay with them at all times, one of us should." 

"I have already taken the liberty of placing Obi-Wan into a Force-induced slumber," Mace told Yoda. "I have no wish for him to wake and begin to fret about things that can't be fixed until we get to the Temple." 

"No wish, have you, for the young one to wake and begin to accuse you again of inattention to his master," Yoda said knowingly. 

"We're doing all we can!" Mace exclaimed indignantly. 

Yoda snorted, delighting in neatly baiting the other master. "Know that *I* do," Yoda said, the corners of his mouth turning up. "Explaining it to a sick padawan is something altogether different." 

Mace sighed. He understood what the wizened master was saying. Obi-Wan had been through more on this mission than many padawans went through for their trials. It had been hard on them all, waiting and wondering and unable to act, but the apprentice had probably suffered more than any of them. 

"Finished, I am," Yoda said, laying a wrinkled, green hand upon his apprentice's cheek before walking sadly away. 

After disposing of the basins and cloths, the two masters checked in with the pilot and settled in to meditate on all that had taken place. Silently, both willed the small ship to get to Coruscant as quickly as possible. 

* * * 

With constant monitoring and careful watching-over, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were no worse off when the ship set down on Coruscant. But neither had they improved. That thought weighed heavily on Mace's mind. 

"Taken care of now, they will be," Yoda assured him. "And survive they will. Skilled are the healers on Coruscant. Ask for more, we could not." 

And then the healers were aboard the ship, medical droids behind them, monitoring, testing, touching, observing, and finally taking Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan away to the temple's medical facilities. 

Mace stood in the ship's hatchway, looking out on the procession of healers and droids heading for the medical bay. Qui-Gon and his apprentice would be fine now, he told himself over and over until he could almost believe it. 

*And if they're not, I don't know how I'll be able to live with it.* The thought left a bitter taste in Mace's mouth. 

"Go, we must, to the Council," Yoda said from beside him, interrupting his melancholy thoughts. "Anxious they will be to know what has transpired." 

The Council. It was always the Council. 

"The Council first, then the healers," Yoda told him sympathetically. 

Yoda walked slowly down the boarding ramp ahead of Mace, walking stick tapping out an uneven rhythm. "Come, let us make our report and then move on to more important matters." 

It was with a heavy heart that Mace followed Yoda down the ramp and toward Council chambers. 

~ el fin ~ 

Feedback? ::hopeful smile:: Anything? (padawan_ana@yahoo.com) 


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